Mind Freedom.

May 29, 2009

Now is the time to enter into your mind, discover all the potential and encounter the disturbance. Once you can quiet your mind you can start to experience life at its optimum. Once you confront your demons and overcome them you can start to radically move forward in the things you are passionate about. And once you do all this you discover your true potential and start living consciously, congruently and confidently.

Truly being able to trust yourself in the decisions of your life is the greatest freedom one can acquire. That being said it can only be acquired from gentle persistence of shaping your mind into what was described earlier.

The best way I found to achieve this is to read and read a lot.

I found that the more I read the more I understood things and could piece the world and my mind together in absolute harmony. The level of success I have achieved in my mind is only matched by the years I have been practicing it. This time has been limited and I would only consider the past 5-6 years as living consciously, the past year and a half as practicing mind freedom.

Quiet Mind.

The second way is to meditate on what you have learnt. To bask in your mind, really tune out all external distractions and completely clear your mind. I have a detailed outline of how to do this in my post cleverly named Clear Your Mind. Once you have achieved a level of quietness that a few years of practice guarantees then you may experience the next level of freedom.

A heightened level.

Initially you dont feel like you have gained anything new. You seem to go through life just the same way as before. But then one day you look around and things are changing. Its not that the physical things are actually changing in reality, its your own perception of those things that has changed and now you can see them clearer, stronger or differently.

What actually happens is that you start to break out of being a Mind Slave and discover Mind Freedom. You stop living for what has been conditioned into you form society and start to live how you want to.

Now I want to point out here very clearly that you still have to live by societies laws.

There is no getting away with that.

You can now live consciously on your own passions and desires. You have to forget about what society, friends or family and especially religion have shoved upon you and make your own mind up about what best suits you. Stand up tall and believe in yourself. That is the only way to succeed in this life. Create your own free mind and start living. Discover what your purpose in life is and start living it. Embrace your passions and become a congruent person. Find peace and harmony.


Internal Dialogue – The negative inforcer.

May 28, 2009

Do you have trouble concentrating? Do you constantly neg yourself out when challenged or want to take a giant leap at something you fear? Do you negatively reinforce bad habits subconsciously not even knowing that you do it? Do you feel crippled by certain social constraints?

I sure know used to, being lead around by that little voice in my head telling me to keep my head down and be pushed around by the world. I finally decided that I had had enough and started to fight it.

After many attempts at stopping my internal dialogue unsuccessfully I turned to books to source my information. These started me on the quest to completely silence my negative internal dialogue, finally taking control of my action and rebelling against societies negative influence.

At the time I was attending ‘building better men’ group talks where a few guys around the local area would meet and chat about topics we wanted to discuss. They ranged from early twenties to late forties and fifties, mostly been around the middle range of the two extremes.

In one of these meeting I brought up the subject of negative internal dialogue and some of the guys had heard about it. One of the older guys, Brent, had not only heard about it but had successfully managed to conquer it. We discussed it for a little while but not at the depths I wanted.

After the meeting I stopped the Brent before he managed to escape my interrogating questions. I asked him to explain a little deeper into what internal dialogue was all about and how to overcome it. This is some of what he described to me and also some of the things I learnt about in my attempts to implement it.

What is Internal Dialogue?

Internal Dialogue is the concept of the thoughts and audible speech in your mind. There is positive dialogue and negative dialogue. They both have strengths and weaknesses that can affect the way we live life.

Society infects our dialogue early in our life and certain things can stick with us throughout our whole lives that cripple us in certain social settings. Some affect us more than others and we generally don’t try and tackle the big problems in our life because they scare us. That’s fair enough. It’s not our fault that certain things interfere with healthy mental growth at young ages, its just bound to happen. Its just life, the hand we have been dealt with, that we have to accept.

That is possibly the best first step you can make. Totally accept that this is the life you have been handed, that all you can do is take it and develop it into the best life you possibly can.

The fight against the Internal Dialogue.

What can you do now? I wrote an article that covers a step by step system that can help quieten your internal dialogue that is located here.

It is a two-part piece that I wrote over a week of contemplation and reflection. I feel like I will write on this more once I have grown in my knowledge and experience more.

Brent told me that the best way to tackle it was to take it in small chunks and progress everyday by putting your self out there. Not to try and get from start to finish in one big chunk. To break it down and take baby steps, it’s all about baby steps.

Find out where your edge is, the edge of your comfort circle. Where you draw the line. Then step over it just a little bit so you’re outside of it. Continue to do this everyday until you find that its inside you comfort zone, then you can rinse and repeat until you get to your final goal.

Set up to relax

May 27, 2009

Set up to relax.

This article is going to be about how to set up and then to relax, how to set up your life in such a way that you can take time to relax and enjoy life.

It all starts with the set up to take your life and arrange it just as you would like it.

To begin you must know what the end result, that you would like, would be. For example one of my friends would like to live in a beach town at his families batch(holiday home) and be able to work minimal hours at a local business. He could then focus on the other areas in his life that he would like to develop. Mainly fishing and surfing.

But to develop this kind of life it is essential that you are able to vividly imagine the end result and be focused and determined to achieve it.

Another one of my friends is trying to start her own cafe in Wellington City. She currently is investing time in hospitality to gain experience that is vital to the plan and vigorously saving. I tried to explain to her that she would also need either some investors or a business partner to help her in the business management of the cafe or alternatively she could do a night course on running a business.

Her response was that she didnt need anyone else to help her, thats why she is working at a cafe at the moment to gain experience in running one. She also told me that she didnt need an investor because she was saving up the money on her own.

Now at this stage she was getting pretty worked up and I backed off mainly saying that they would help her but she was still going to be running the operation alone.

Setting up a lifestyle where you are working in the area you love is a fantastic life goal. It beats the hell out of working in a dead end job in hopes that you will reach the top of the career ladder. Only to find that once you get there you are an middle aged fat balding man driving a red BMW.

The parts to watch out for.

Just as you graduate from secondary school to tertiary you find yourself facing a brick wall called ‘decide what you will do as a career and define yourself as for the next 40-60 years time’. For me this time was impossibility scary. As I have wrote about before I could not figure out what to do and totally abandoned it.

It is a difficult time for most teenages who have not had a strong passion about a certain career for a long time. Most find themselves looking at what strengths they have at school at the time to determine what they should follow on doing. This approach I find impractical and inane.

The way I found that worked for me was to find something that I would like to do as a hobby or, and probably more intelligent, something that I wanted to accomplish in my lifetime that would benefit society or would help in the process of helping the world to progress in some way.

Once you have determined what you are going to do.

Once you figure out what your goal or life aspiration is you can go about implementing it. This you will find just as enjoyable as you will find difficult. Along the way you will find that there will be people who do not think what you are doing is a good idea and some, even close friends, will tell you you are wrong and try and talk you out of it.

Dont be discouraged! Discouragement is a test! You either pass or fail this one. No in between. But it is a good thing. If you are not been challenged or discouraged then you are probably not going about it strong enough.

There is not failure, only feedback. You cannot fail when going about seeking out your goals and desires. You can only generate feedback. If something doesnt go as planned it just means that it needs to be looked at again and that you go about it another way.

First, you accept yourself and reality. Then, you take right action to change yourself and reality.

Set up to relax and retire is not about becoming old and sitting at home with your nice clean house, fancy furniture and immaculate garden. No, in fact I would like to reinstate that retirement should not be about this.

We should be able to take mini-retirements throughout life while pursuing other endeavors. Endeavors that challenge us and make us better, stronger people. Retirement should not be about stability but about movement and adventure.

When you have found your passion and are rigorously implementing it then comes a time to set back and relax. You are on your way and now is the time to enjoy and relish in your achievements.

Remember not to get tied down by societies time-honored traditions. You can be a little different. Its alright. Dont be too shy. Take charge and be yourself no matter what it is. And remember to relax.

What I learnt after high school.

May 26, 2009

Skip ahead a few years. I am just finishing high school and I don’t really know what I should do. Life is confusing and the pressure to make up my mind on what career I want to follow is looming above my head.

Teachers, parents, family, friends and fellow students alike are all talking about it and asking me a million and one questions about what I would like to do. My answer is I don’t know. That got me about no-where and I had to make something up. I think I might have said I want to be a graphic designer because I liked to skip class, go and pretend to use the computer in the computer lab for schoolwork.

Choosing a life goal or direction is difficult. The environment that we live in the western world conditions us to choose a career, go study it at university, get a job in that area and work for 40 years until we are old.

I don’t subscribe to that philosophy and I surely didn’t when I had just finished school. Matter of fact I didn’t want to go to university. I didn’t want a career. I wanted to play music, computer games and hang out with my friends. I was still very immature but that was ok because I hadn’t experience the world yet.

I ended up going and studying Audio Engineering. I felt as though I hadn’t sold out and it kept my parents happy for the time being. In fact I really enjoyed it while I was there and could see myself working quite happily in a recording studio one day when my body will not let me be free to roam the earth any longer.

I also scored a part time job from one of my friends where I only worked one day a week (Sunday) and in between serving customers had a lot of time to ponder life.

In that time a got to listen to my mp3 player and listened to a lot of podcasts about all sorts of different subjects. These ranged from dating and relationships to self-improvement and business to hypnotism and sermons from my favourite preachers.

I tried to cover a large spectrum of ideas and to keep my mind open to the ideas that they shared. Some things were out there, others quite ridiculously inside of the square, all good and contributed along way to the ideas that I encompass now. They surely helped me to stay on track when things went to the dogs and they did that a few times in the years ahead.

So one good thing about studying further was that it gave me this job that I had a lot of spare time to think and meditate on the lessons that were pumping thru my ears.

I have one distinct memory of driving into uni whist listening to a guy talk about being a rock star even though you are a normal guy. He talked about how even though no body knows him he can still walk into a store/café/night club and have the attention instantly focused on him. That he commands attention wherever he goes and really enjoys the benefits that come with recognition even though he actually had none.

That day as I was working from my car park to class I implemented what he had taught in the interview. Shoulders back, chest out, look as though you are totally relaxed yet have an air of intenseness about you, talk load enough to be heard but not yelling, use a deep voice and several other small little techniques that he shared.

Well before this I was quite timid and held myself in a lazy slouch because I hadn’t really needed to command respect before, nor really cared. But after I tried this out and IT WORKED I got a little addicted to the feeling of being superior to other people. I don’t quite think that the word superior was the way other people where seeing me though and that’s okay, its just the way I saw it myself.

I started heavily researching all about body language and presentation. I started dressing exclusively in black, worked on my tone of voice until it was silky smooth and very deep and walked around like I was a rock star.

For a while it was excellent. I managed to get myself a girlfriend and impressed all my fellow students at university.  But on the flip side I was turning into an asshole. I treated people as if they were below me and generally pissed a lot of people off.

This continued for a long time and I wondered why my girlfriend dumped me, why my friends didn’t invite me out to gatherings and why people I met never became me friends.

It took a big change for me this fact to finally dawn on me.  I had to lose everything and abandon my country for a while to learn this lesson. Even after I moved over seas it took a whole two years before I truly understood myself and could comfortably be myself, the greatest me I could be.

Now I have moved back to New Zealand, my homeland, and am tearing it up with my new found self.

Autism and helping the world.

May 25, 2009

Lately I have been thinking about autism and what power it has over the mind when dealing with seemingly simple tasks such as asking for a glass of water.

People with autism suffer from a defect of the mind where they cannot perceive other humans or animals alike as real, living, breathing people and pets. They view us as just other objects in this world that do unexpected things and make unexpected noises that they cannot calculate.

The physiologist Alison Gopnik explains what it would be like to have autism.

“This is what it is like to sit around a dinner table. At the top of my field of vision is a blurry edge of my nose, in front are waving hands…. Around me bags of skin are draped over chairs and stuffed into pieces of cloth, they shift and protrude in unexpected ways…. two dark spots at the top of them swivel relentlessly back and forth. A hole beneath that spot fills with food and from it comes a scream of noises. Imagine that the noisy skin-bags suddenly moved towards you and their noises grew loud, and you have no idea why, no way of explaining them or predicting what they would do next.”

To me this explanation is a very frightening idea. Now I could not imagine being in a world that I could not understand yet when I was younger I experienced this phenomenon. Luckily for me it wasn’t that severe and I eventually understood what was happening and why.

It was also said by a psychologist Simon Baron-Cohen that to be male is to have a minor form of autism. On an average most autism patients are male. A good example of this the similarities that an autism patient shares with a very nerdy male. That social awkwardness, the inability to interact properly, nervous little moves. It all ties in.

This could somewhat explain a lot of time in my life where I have felt this, especially after my accident. I could not quite understand people or what was going on. Fortunately for me I was able to break it down and rediscover what was happening around me. For a long time I can remember that I treated people as thought they were just other things that I interacted with in the world.

One day I was walking with my friend discussing life and the issues a teenage boy goes through. I remember very vividly say “Man, what really gets me is how when you look at someone in their eyes, they are thinking and living just like I am, that’s another person who thinks in their.”

At the time it was very scary for me to think this and it really opened my eyes to what was going on around me in the world. This wasn’t just some sort of computer game where I live out my life ‘levelling’ up, becoming successful or what ever. This was real human/soul interaction (at the time I don’t think I perceived the soul yet) between all 6 billion or so of us.

My cousin had a baby boy a few years ago now and recently my family found out he has autism. In my mind I feel that if I could just be there when he goes through his upper adolescence that I could have a dramatic influence in the way he turns out. If I could somehow become his close friend I could help him unravel the world and give him a chance of understanding what the world is.

The only problem is that I am not going to be able to be there for him as he grows up. I’m not his school chum, nor do I regularly see his family. I don’t even live in the same city as them anymore. Which makes me sad and really yearn to see him grow up into a defining man.

If there are any guys (or girls) out there who have trouble with social interaction or with some of the things I’ve talked about in this post I want to let you know that there are places out there that cater for individuals that struggle in this area. They are actually more common than you would expect and you probably have heard of them and/or been to such an event when you were younger and didn’t realise what it was.

Outward Bound courses that take you out into the wild and make you fend for yourself are a big one amongst the guys. We need to discover what we are and what we need to feel adequate with ourselves.

There are professionals who specialize in personal development and coaching with life goals out there that have a strong desire for you to succeed. Recently I have had the urge to see if I could get into this industry and become a personal coach. It would be such a satisfactory thing for me to know that I am helping other guys out there become what they see themselves as when they are under there blankets at night. That the world isn’t really a big scary place once you understand it and that what they really dream about is (within the planes of reality) definitely within their reach.

I had friends in Australia who specialized in this job and helped me to reach the goals I had set and become the person who I am now.  I meet people these days and really feel as though I could help them in areas, which they may be lacking.  As I improved my mind I see in others the way they can improve themselves.

I feel a strong change in my life this year as I change my outlook on life and start to really reach out and help people. I have learnt so much and taken in so much from people over the past 5 years, now I feel as though I should give something back.

Hopefully this site can be the first set in that right direction. Over the next 12 months I shall be sharing with the adoring Internet public what I have learnt and hope to answer questions relating to the things I do best.

So if you have anything you would like me to try and tackle send me a little comment under this or contact me on matthavok@gmail.com.

Peace and much love, Havok.

Its all about giving

May 24, 2009

I attended a meeting of young and old men who were interested in bettering themselves as individuals. I had found the event on an internet forum which I use quite regularly and thought it was one that was held the next week. Same night of the week and at the same time, I was confused and generally surprised with the opening comment of the meeting.

“Tonight gentlemen, we are going to die.”

Putting my confusion aside, the meeting was very inspiring and has catapulted me into the conscious being I am today. If any of them read this, Thank you!

The main message of this post is going to be about a subject discussed at the meeting.

One of the speakers asked the group ‘What is one thing in this life that you want, benefiting society or yourself, it does not matter.’

The question was passed around the group and each answered in turn. Some things were very specific and others more generalizations. Some included monetary increases, others to become better people. Mostly the consensus was for self gratification.

My answer was ‘I want to have more experiences in life’.

Looking back then to now and the experiences I have had over the past few months, I defiantly subconsciously took that answer on board and really experienced a whole bunch of stuff. This ‘stuff’ I will endeavour to share with you guys one of these days.

Well after everyone had shared their answer with the group the speaker spoke up again and told us the meaning behind the question.

‘What you have told us today is what you really desire and are focused to discover and succeed in. Take those answers and find a way to give them to other people. Only then will you find that what you desire will be attracted to you.’

In essence, ‘Give and you shall receive.’ – Jesus.

It’s all about giving.

We all have to learn how to give more, myself included. I have found myself in the awkward situation where I have been asked for a few coins from a homeless person, or even just someone needed money, had coins in my pocket and totally denied that I have anything of the sort, jingling slowly away down the street.

Now I am not saying we need to give away all of our change everyday of the week. The above illustration was merely something I give you to think about in your daily lives.  Are you really benefiting from that extra change in your pocket, what ever it may be?

Learn to give what you wish to receive.

Once you realize that what ever you want to receive can be achieved just by giving it in the first place you really open up possibilities for anything.

The thing about giving is that it feels so rewarding when you do it. If you take the right mindset and give without feeling you need to be praised for it then it can be a very rewarding experience.

Even better is when you give someone else exactly what you want to in your life. Whether that be an experience, money, inspiration etc…

You can take from that experience something that you may not have received if you had managed to get it on your own by accident or otherwise.

You become more powerful in your body and thoughts when you give to another person. You get an indescribable feeling that can catapult you into success.

Physical Freedom

May 23, 2009

From not on I am going to incorporate a monthly update of my physical fitness, my health and what I am doing to keep myself in tip top condition.

Today will be the first on and I will aim to update them around the end of every month.


My main fitness weapon is the bicycle. I love to ride and can do it all day and all night if needs be.

For me a good 20k ride is and has been a daily occurrence since I had moved out of home a year and a half ago.

Whether it be road riding or mountain biking, get me on one and I will love it!

Since leaving Melbourne and returning to Auckland to catch up with my family and friends I have cut down my riding to a zero. I am thinking of moving to Wellington soon and will promptly be investing in another road bike to get around and keep fit.


I have been keeping myself strong and fit this past month by working at my Dads factory. It has been a busy month for him and he needed a hand with some of the laminating. So I have been in lifting 2400mm boards of ply around. This has grown my muscles considerably and I am now continuing with a weight lifting throughout the week to keep the muscle.


Since being home I have gained 5kgs. This extra weight could be from the physical work that I have been doing or the fact that I can eat as much food as I like and am being continuously get feed up.

This year I am going 100% vegetarian. That means no more meat. It doesnt really concern me because I have been eating mostly vegetarian the past year anyway. My goal is to be completely free of foods with added hormones to them. Processed food these days are getting very bad to eat and are the leading cause in so many new diseases.

Also the fact that all my vital minerals and vitamins can be found from fruit and vegetables and that meat doesnt contribute anything really beneficial to your diet is another reason to go 100% vegetarian.

Thats it for now. The next update will be in a months time.

The Spirit and the Soul

May 22, 2009

I was chatting to one of my ‘enlightened’ friends the other day about spirituality and so forth. We got to the point of how I had gotten amnesia and the effects it had played on my life.

We had been discussing spirits and souls, how we perceived them and how they worked. She has been interested in this topic for a long time and has dived deep into theory and discussion.

Her understanding of science and philosophy is vast. She currently doing her Masters in Science and has been studying philosophy for many years.

My understanding of science isn’t the best. I studied it in school but never took much interest. I have been studying Relativity and the space time quantum for a few months now and find it very interesting. I have been studying religion, spirituality and philosophy for many years now and started when I was about 14, just when I started my life quest for improvement and enlightenment.

I grew up through my teens as a Christian and went to a Catholic high school. They made religious studies mandatory and this is where I learnt a lot out religion with a Catholic bias. I have since traveled and explored other religious and spiritual groups. I have also turned to alternative measures for spiritual enlightenment.

The Spirit and the soul.

Think of the term soul as merely meaning a way of explaining consciousness in human beings. It is the difference in each of us, separates us from other species and from one another.

The spirit is in all life. Everything that exists has spirit. Spirit flows through everything around us, through the food we eat, the people we meet and all the other things that make up our day. The world is interconnected by the spirit and is incorporated with everything in our lives.

We must keep this energy in balance or else we get sick or become depressed. Too much of anything is bad for us. That includes the good stuff in our lives. If we are not producing a balance in our lives then eventually the world will take over and shock us into changing or suffer the consequences. This post is not about balance though so I will not dive deeper into it for now.

What we must understand is what each the soul and the spirit are to fully understand what is going on around us. Once you can figure this out you can start to piece together what exactly is going on around us.

Soul transferring and lifespans.

What my friend and I discussed was the all about soul transfers and life spans of souls.

What really interested me was the fact that when I fell off the fort and suffered amnesia I changed.

What we decided on was that when I fell it was a way for the soul that was in me to move from my body and inhabit another one. Now I am not sure why this may of happened but a likely cause would be that the soul had either completed what it needed to do in my body or that it found it could not complete what it needed to do in my body.

So what it did is found a way to escape and take up another body to complete what ever it had to do.

I am in no way discouraged or disappointed in this decision for I would not be me here right now. This I am very thankful for.

My friend told me of a time when something similar happened to her and she feels like maybe the same thing had happened to her too. Another interesting fact that we brought up was that her pancreas stopped working at the same time as I had my accident. Sure this could just be chance but I think that somehow we are spiritually connected and our soul had brought us together.

We share a consciousness with one another that has a strange peace about it. We connect on a different level than other people and are able to share ourselves with one another very open and honestly.

Do our souls have a life span?

They may do. Once they find what they are seeking that may end. They may have several lives looking for what they need to be complete. This could be what happened to my pervious soul when it left my body. I could only hope that it succeeded and is now resting in splendour.

I don’t think that they have a finite existence like we do. I think they would define it as infinite yet none of the words we have can really explain it properly.

Where to now?

I think that we must be aware of our own soul and the spirit that engulfs the world. There may not be a lot we can do but live our lives as best as we can and try and connect with our soul and achieve what ever it need to achieve in this lifetime.

What I did the next day.

May 21, 2009

After I had fallen off my bike and taken some scratches I decided I needed to grab life by the scruff of its neck and start making things happen. I sent a text message out to a bunch a contacts that read ‘Need to move out of my place. Does anyone know of a room going?’

I got a whole bunch of no replies but one yes. It was just what I needed to hear. ‘Yeah, my next door neighbour is going overseas for 2 months and needs someone to baby sit his room’. Beautiful.

Next thing I did was quit my job. I was working in sales and it was sucking all the life force out of my soul. I had to knock on people’s doors to try and change their power company by offering them a better deal.

Now it wasn’t the fact that I had to door knock, sell a product or change their power company that bothered me. It was the fact that this industry is very large in Australia and people get hammered everyday with this. In fact some people would be so upset by my arrival that I suffered a lot of abuse.

To make matters worse was that I wasn’t getting many sales and wasn’t making any money since it was commission based. So they taught me how to manipulate the customer so they wouldn’t really understand what was going on and sign up.

Great, I was making money but these poor people are going to suffer because of it. I had to get out of there and that’s exactly what I did.

Creating and Delivering Value.

Never again will I find myself looking for a job. I have come to the conclusion that is it a big waste of time. Now you might ask how I intend to live because money is life isn’t it?

But stop and think for a little bit. Lets break this down and analyze it. You trade your time for money. So if you work an 8 hour day 5 days a week on a base wage of $20 an hour you come up with $800. Now don’t get me wrong that a lot of money! I could really go for $800 a week in income. The only problem I see with that is that is the maximum amount you can earn without going over time.

Do you see a problem with that? Do you think its reasonable and intelligent to only earn income while you work? Has the world so thoroughly brainwashed you into thinking this is the only way? Have you ever considered that it might be better to be paid even when you’re not working?

It would be very nice to be getting paid while you eat, while you watch television at night, while you brush your teeth and while you sleep. Get paid whether you’re working or not, 24/7.

I have been introduced to a bunch of very smart individuals who use leverage to earn money whether they’re working or not. They have residual or passive income. They have started businesses, created websites, become investors and have created royalty income for themselves through creative work. This system delivers ongoing value to people and generates income for themselves.

Once you can discover the secret of creating and delivering value to people’s lives you create wealth. Not so much monetary wealth even though that is part of it. You create a wealth that is shared by many throughout time. Well that’s the plan anyway.

Real value is the kind of value where you can see tangible positive change in the world.

With this in mind I set about making the hard decisions in my life.

That was that day.

What came next was unexpected and really catapulted me to the next level in conscious being.

Life is a Journey

May 20, 2009

The other day I was riding one of my old bikes to Ceres, an eco-farm that has a used bike department. One of my mates was riding the other one that I was dropping off. We were being silly buggers as per usual and I was riding into the back of his bike with my front tire trying to knock him off.

Well I ate the deck. My wheel got caught on one side and I fell the other way trying to compensate.  After skidding down the road for about a metre and a half I came to a halt. The damage wasn’t too bad. My left leg had torn little lines of skin off, my ankle had got a scratch, elbow had a little scratch on it too but my hands had taken the most impact and were pretty torn up.

After I had got up and started riding down to Ceres again I realised that I had fallen off on purpose.

Lately I had been quite numb. I just needed to feel again and feel I did.

It wasn’t that I was depressed or that life wasn’t going good. Infact at the time everything was going quite swimmingly. I think life had gotten stale. I needed to feel something again. Sometimes life gets boring and you need some adventure to keep you feeling sane.

That fall set in place a time in my life I would like to call trial and adventure.  Over the next month I completely changed who and what I was. It was an intense journey of self discovery, experimentation, love, loss and acceptance. I found out a lot about myself and accepted a lot of things that had been burdens on my life.

I think it let me get on with my life and carry out what my purpose is. This journey of self discovery and life purpose is something that I think could benefit many people all over the world. If only civilization was brave enough to face up to reality and take a step out of their comfort zone, find their edge and live it daily.

Over the next few days I will be writing a series of articles that dive deep into purpose, self discovery, adventure and what happened to me over the past month. I shall share with you the way I have found out where I am going in life, what I needed to see and hear to discover this and how I figured all this out.

There is going to be a lot of jumping and weaving through parts of my life that I haven’t shared yet on here and some things that I have not shared with anyone up until this point. Hopefully I can edit it in such a way that it all makes sense and I apologise if it doesn’t at points.

That’s all for now. Enjoy the series, I hope it will be as beneficial to you as it will be for me writing it and living it. I hope that it will guide you on your journey through life and even if it only gives value to one person then it will be worth all the time and effort I have put into it.